caviar twinkie meatloaf

     A few weeks ago, I heard online about some food vendor named Charlie Chicken selling "Caviar Twinkies" at the Orange County Fair and I thought that was a brilliant concept- so I turned it into a meatloaf. A caviar meatloaf, to the best of my knowledge, has never been attempted before, probably because:

1. Caviar is expensive
2. Caviar is the only protein source I know of that cannot be cooked using any heat. I assume if you tried to heat caviar, it would explode. Plus you would garner the wrath of caviar aficionados everywhere for not following caviar etiquette, which includes these rules:

1. NEVER EVER HEAT CAVIAR UP! CHILL IT OR USE IT AS A GARNISH ONLY!
2. Don't expose caviar to metal utensils or bowls because then the caviar would taste metallic. Use plastic utensils and glass bowls instead.
3. Technically, it's considered gauche(rude) if you eat more than 2 ounces of caviar at a time. I ate 3.5 ounces of it but I don't think the caviar police is out to get me.

     I got my caviar from a local supermarket for $5.69 for 3.5 ounces. So it's probably low-grade caviar. I did buy red caviar but I stupidly forgot to read the label that said "Vodka Lumpfish". 4 ounces((i bought two 2-ounce jars) of vodka caviar might make anybody drunk and that is not something I will do to get attention on the Internet. Besides, Hannah Hart from My Drunk Kitchen has drunk cooking covered already. For these reasons, I didn't use red caviar in my meatloaf. I'd rather have salty caviar than caviar that tastes like vodka any day of the week.

This recipe is significantly different from my previous meatloaf creations in that I didn't use sauteed onions because:

1. You're not supposed to chill onions.
2. I don't want any onion flavor in my meatloaf. Chilling the meatloaf isn't going to take away the onion flavor, unlike when you bake a meatloaf in actual heat.

I also didn't use raw eggs because:

1. Raw eggs don't bake in the refrigerator. Even a 5th grader could tell you that!
2. Consuming raw eggs can make you sick!

You don't need nonstick cooking spray either as the meatloaf won't stick to the surface it is on if it is chilled. I also didn't use a lasagna pan because it's made of aluminum and aluminum is metal(see caviar etiquette rules above).

For the cooking vessels, you will need:

A glass bowl
A glass loaf pan
Plastic utensils
A large plastic spoon(see caviar etiquette above)

For the actual meatloaf, you will need:

3.5 ounces of black caviar
3 Twinkies, crushed into smaller pieces
Pinch of black pepper(for a little spice)

1. Wash your hands! :)
2. Put all three ingredients in a glass bowl.
3. Mix the ingredients using a large plastic spoon.
4. Form one loaf in the glass loaf pan from the meatloaf mixture.
5. Chill meatloaf in refrigerator for 1 hour to let it set.
6. Bon Appetit!

Final note: You can eat your meatloaf with any sides you want but i had some leftover spaghetti squash so I placed my meatloaf on top of that.