chicken liver meatloaf

I'll tell you this story my dad told me about his experiences eating chicken liver as a kid:

His mom(my grandma) made him and his three brothers eat chicken liver for dinner every week because they were "healthy"(note that this was in the 1960s, mind you). The boys hated the chicken liver with disdain. Then my grandma read an article in the newspaper that chicken liver was unhealthy for you- too much iron and cholesterol in them. So she stopped serving chicken livers for dinner and the boys lived happily ever after.

Here is my only previous experience with liver: I had (beef) liver and onions for dinner while on vacation in Florida a few years ago. It was really delicious. I don't think that episode of Doug where Doug is served liver and onions by his mom and ends up loving it isn't a personal experience but for some reason but I still remember that episode to this very day.

Present day: I made this chicken liver meatloaf. IT WAS DISGUSTING!!! This would be an epic fail of a meatloaf. Apparently chicken liver only tastes good when fried, not baked like this sad excuse for a meatloaf.

So you may be asking, "Why post the video of it if you didn't like it?" I want to the teach all the folks out there on the Internet that chicken liver meatloaf is gross and has the consistency of cat food. There was no recipe I could find in my research for a chicken liver meatloaf and now I see why. There's a reason why it's called offal: because it's awful!

Spoiler alert: I had a frozen lasagna instead for dinner. Now that I think about it, I don't think I would even serve this meatloaf to my cats. But in the world of tech startups, you have to "fail fast" and move on from failed experiences, while learning the lessons from the failure.

I'm not scarred for life because of this meatloaf, but maybe in the future I can soak the meatloaf in a flour/egg batter, coat it in breadcrumbs, and pan-fry it. Then it just might be delicious.

This was the first meatloaf I made that I didn't like. I guess there's a first time for everything. Maybe I shouldn't have boiled the livers first. I don't know where I went wrong.

I can see why a 20-ounce bucket of chicken livers at the supermarket only costs $3! Because it's gross! This is truly an "undesirable meat". Nothing could've saved this meatloaf, not even ketchup- meatloaf's best friend.

However, there is a bright side to this disaster- since it looks like chocolate(ok, I have to be honest, it also looks like poop! My dad didn't want me saying that on camera though.), you can use the meatloaf mixture(minus the raw eggs) as an April Fool's prank by telling your intended victim it's chocolate mousse. Though the smell of the chicken liver might give it away.

But here's the recipe anyway:

For the cooking vessels:

A large pot
A lasagna pan
Nonstick cooking spray

For the meatloaf:

20 ounces of chicken liver(don't worry, they shrink during the boiling process)

1/2 a sauteed onion
2 beaten and whisked eggs
1/2 cup of balsamic vinaigrette
1/2 tbsp. of garlic powder
1/2 tbsp. of onion powder
Pinch of salt
Pinch of black pepper
2-3 tbsp. of bacon bits
1 cup of crumbled onion crackers(about 20 crackers)

For preparing the chicken liver:

1. Drain the blood from the bucket.
2. Rinse the chicken livers off.
3. Put them in a large pot.
4. Fill said pot with water about 3/4 way to the top.
5. Boil the chicken livers. To make the boiling process go faster, put a lid on the pot as it's boiling. You will definitely know when it is boiling when you see brown stuff on the top of the liquid. Don't worry, it's just soluble cell proteins, which are fats and impurities from the chicken livers.
6. Once the chicken livers are boiling, let the pot boil for 15 minutes.
7. Drain the soluble cell proteins and liquid from the pot. Put livers on a plate for now. They will be done when they are brown.

For the meatloaf-making process:

1. Add the next 8 ingredients into a large bowl.
2. Crumble the crackers using a food processor or a plastic bag. If you do the plastic bag method, put the crackers in the bag, zip the bag up, then smash the crackers using your fist or a hammer. Repeat until you have 1 cup's worth of crumbled crackers.
3. Crumble up the boiled chicken livers and put them in the large bowl.
4. Mix the ingredients up using a large spoon.
5. Spray a lasagna pan with nonstick cooking spray.
6. Form 2 loaves.
7. Bake in a 375 degree Fahrenheit preheated oven for 25-30 minutes.
8. Eat if you dare!