chocolate pig uterus!?

To celebrate my upcoming hysterectomy and ovary removal, I managed to find some pig uterus, fried it, and coated it in a chocolate sauce(people with a uterus sure do crave chocolate during their periods!). Tastes like calamari!

There aren't many recipes on the internet for cooking pig uterus and there certainly isn't one that incorporates chocolate into it- until now!

I didn't have high hopes for this recipe given this article that said pig uterus was the scariest food found at Ranch 99, an Asian supermarket chain on the West Coast. But when it comes to new food, one must keep an open mind and an empty belly(sounds like a Chinese proverb actually!). 

I found my pig uterus at an Asian supermarket that happened to also sell live frogs. Yea there was a lot of weird shit in that supermarket for sale, like duck heads(which I of course bought for a future video), black chicken, beef penis, pig snouts, cow intestines, you name the organ, that supermarket had it for sale. For someone who loves weird food it was as if I died and went to heaven! 

I read one article that said you needed to soak the uteri for 24 hours, which I forgot to do, so I improvised and soaked it for 3, changing the salted water every  hour. The smell wasn't too bad actually- it smells just like a fish market(if you're into that sorta thing). I've smelled a lot worse. 

I tried boiling and simmering a chocolate milk sauce but I destroyed my large saucepot in the process due to the sauce burning. Chocolate milk doesn't boil well apparently. I didn't include any of that in the final video. Turns out mixing the ingredients without cooking works just as well. 

I'm also having my ovaries removed, so to celebrate those being taken out, I served the uteri with some quail eggs, which just taste like deviled (chicken) eggs honestly. 

If you know me and my gender transition, you might be asking- is a future video involving some sort of animal penis and testicles in the works(to celebrate when I have phalloplasty and scrotoplasty done)? Heck yeah! But that's not 'til later in 2019 at the earliest. 

My dad was too disgusted to try pig uterus and all the other stuff in the recipe. 

HELPFUL LINKS: 

Yellow Curry Paste: www.amazon.com/4oz-Green-Yellow-Curry-Pastes/dp/B000QU3JM0/ref=sr_1_8_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1547312389&sr=8-8&

Purple Yam Jam: www.amazon.com/24oz-Tropics-Halaya-Purple-Pack/dp/B01J1B7IV2/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1547312408&sr=8-2&

Quail Eggs: www.amazon.com/ROM-AMERICA-Aroy-D-Quail-water/dp/B06XSPTDNK/ref=sr_1_9_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1547312461&sr=1-9&

You will need: 

For the cooking equipment: 
A knife
A frying pan w/ spatula
A large bowl 
A colander
A bowl

For the ingredients: 

2 lbs. pig uterus(found at some Asiian supermarkets)
Enough water to submerge the uterus for soaking
Salt for soaking the uterus
Coconut oil
1 chopped up onion
Kimchi sauerkraut or cabbage
1 tsp. yellow curry paste(see HELPFUL LINKS)
Purple yam jam(see HELPFUL LINKS)
Quail eggs(see HELPFUL LINKS)

For the sauce:
Chocolate milk
1 tsp. yellow curry paste
Purple yam jam
Serve with Asian steamed bun(found at most Asian supermarkets)

To soak the uterus: 

1. Put the uteri in a large bowl and pour enough water to submerge it. Salt the water. Let the uteri soak for an hour.
2. Drain the water with a colander and put the uteri back in the large bowl.
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 two or three more times.

For the frying: 

1. Chop up the pig uteri with a knife into the smallest pieces possible. You can also just tear the uteri into pieces with your hands, that works too. 
2. Put coconut oil into a frying pan. Turn the stove on and melt the coconut oil. 
3. Put the chopped onion and kimchi sauerkraut or cabbage into the pan. Saute until the onions are translucent. 
4. Put more coconut oil into a frying pan. Turn the stove on and melt the coconut oil.
5. Put the uteri into the pan but don't overcrowd it. Add the curry paste and yam jam. 
6. Combine all ingredients in the pan and move the uteri with a spatula to make sure it all gets fully cooked, which should take several minutes. 

For the sauce:
1. Mix all the sauce ingredients together in a bowl. 

To serve: 

1. Pour the sauce onto the uteri, kimchi sauerkraut or cabbage, and onions. Top with quail eggs. 2. Serve with Asian steamed bun. Eat immediately as pig uterus doesn't keep well in the fridge overnight(or maybe it looked weird because of the purple yam jam and curry paste- either way I didn't want to risk my surgery being cancelled due to food poisoning so I trashed my leftovers).