how to make blueberry ketchup

This video was supposed to feature three ketchup recipes based on those weird ketchup colors you saw in supermarkets back in the '90s(ex. green, blue, purple).

Here's the story of my original plan for this video:

Artificial food dye isn't the healthiest for you so I decided to make my own blue dye and green dye. I would then use those dyes with a white ketchup recipe I found in one of Alan Wong's cookbooks and in an ideal world, the end result would be green ketchup and purple ketchup just like I remembered when I was a kid.

I successfully made green dye but when I mixed it in with the white ketchup, I got a light green, creamy sauce that tasted like soap due to the goat cheese(which I learned I hate- come on, who eats that s***!?)

As for the blue dye, I ended up with a turquoise dye. When I mixed this now turquoise dye in with the white ketchup, I got a light purple, creamy sauce!

I decided to spare the Internet from these epic fails. #ketchupgate

Luckily, I also made blueberry ketchup, which turned out to be delicious, so that is the recipe I decided to show you folks. The blueberry ketchup was supposed to represent the purple ketchup I remember eating.

I think I'll try making actual purple ketchup in the future using artificial blue dye and red ketchup. Red + blue = purple, supposedly.

If I ever find enough yellow tomatoes, I will make a yellow ketchup and mix artificial blue dye in to hopefully make a green ketchup.

I'm SOL for the blue ketchup though(if you don't know what SOL is, Google it).

But even purchasing the blueberries was a hassle. Here's the Blueberry Odyssey:

I bought a pound of blueberries on a Saturday during my weekly grocery shopping, It all landed on the floor due to my dad's epic clumsiness. That was $10 down the drain and I was pissed!

So I asked him to get me a replacement pound of blueberries the next day, except I didn't tell him a pound of blueberries, so he mistakenly bought two 4.4 ounce boxes of blueberries, which thought wasn't enough for the ketchup. The supermarket didn't carry 1-pound boxes of blueberries that day

The following day, I bought another 4.4 ounce box of blueberries from the supermarket. They didn't have 1-pound boxes of blueberries that day either.

In the end, I only needed one 4.4 ounce box of blueberries to make the blueberry ketchup. I'm not going to waste the blueberries, so I'll just drizzle some honey or cinnamon on top of those and eat them.

But here's the real kicker: on all 3 days the blueberries were purchased, blueberries weren't in the supermarket's computer! It had a bar code that wouldn't scan, so they had to get the manager to insert a key to enable the purchase, which held up the line behind me. Even the blueberries weren't in the pharmacy's computer! One of the cashiers even asked me if I actually needed the blueberries(of course I do!) since getting the manager is a hassle.

I've never heard of a supermarket that deletes an item from their computer and yet still sells the item. In my opinion, if you sell the item, it better be on the computer. Otherwise, just don't sell the item!

**end rant**

Here's the recipe:

You will need:

For the cooking vessels:

A small bowl if you're making your own red wine vinegar
A medium saucepan

For the ketchup:

1/4 cup of red wine vinegar or 1/4 cup of red cooking wine and 1/4 cup of white vinegar
1 1/4 cups of blueberries
1 tbsp of onion powder
A little over 1 cup of granulated sugar
1 tbsp. of allspice
Pinch of salt
Pinch of black pepper
1/2 tbsp. of lemon juice

French fries to serve with the ketchup

1. If you don't have red wine vinegar, mix the red cooking wine and white vinegar in a small bowl to get a red wine vinegar.
2. Put the red wine vinegar in the medium saucepan, along with the rest of the ketchup ingredients.
3. Mix all the ingredients up.
4. Bring saucepan to a boil on the stovetop on medium to high heat.
5. As the pot is boiling, stir the pot until the sugar dissolves, which should take 2-5 minutes.
6. Once the pot is boiling, reduce the heat to a simmer.
7. Stir the contents of the pot as it's simmering.
8. Simmer until most of the blueberries have broken down and the sauce has thickened, about 20-30 minutes.
9. Turn the stove off and let the ketchup cool down.
10. Once the ketchup is cooled down, pour it in a Tupperware and put in the fridge overnight to let it set.
11. Serve with French fries. Bon appetti!