how to make bug fruitcakes!?

My co-worker at my day job went on vacation in Florida and knowing I love eating insects, got me Crick-ettes and Larvets, which are seasoned crickets and worms, respectively that are found at tourist attractions for the sheer gross factor of eating bugs. But yes, these bugs are edible but most people try them just as a dare or to brag that they've eaten insects, not because they taste good. Well I think they taste good- as long as they're dipped in Korean BBQ sauce. 

At the time, I had an extra canned oven-bake tarantula, which is a thing, and i saw this video of these two guys eating disgusting fruitcake variations and I decided to make my own bug fruitcakes this Christmas. 

This recipe is perfect if you want to give this to someone you really, really don't like since, you know, fruitcakes are given to people that are hated by the gift giver, not because they taste good(side note: I love eating fruitcake). 

Why did I make mini bug fruitcakes? Well, for one, edible insects don't come cheap like more conventional protein sources do since no physical, IRL store carries them at the moment(save for those tourist traps that sell Larvets and Crick-ettes) and second, certain bugs don't stand well in the heat oven very well, like the big bugs(beetle, tarantula, and waterbug). The smaller bugs really shouldn't be baking for a long time either since they burn faster then other protein sources when cooked. Mini baked goods cook faster than regular-sized ones. 

But nevertheless, two of these bug fruitcakes are enough for a meal. These bug fruitcakes reminded me of a corn muffin or cornbread in the texture and consistency of it, with the extreme crunchiness and grass-like flavor from the bugs, which even I find a little off-putting. However, Korean BBQ sauce hides the grass-like flavor and pairs well with insects. 

The thing about the bigger edible insects is that they need to be consumed within a day of opening them, otherwise they'll go stale, as I learned when I ate the beetle two days after baking the bug fruitcakes. No, these bug fruitcakes won't last 100 years, maybe 4 days at the most and that's really pushing it.

My dad kind of felt horrified watching me eat these insects, so it's no surprise he didn't try this recipe. 

Warning:  These bugs I used have been cleaned, boiled and dehydrated and then seasoned with salt, so don't pick up any ordinary insects and use them in this recipe!

HELPFUL LINKS: 

Larvets: hotlix.com/candy/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=97

Crick-ettes: hotlix.com/candy/index.php?route=product/product&path=96&product_id=103

Mixed bugs: www.bizarrefood.com/mixed-edible-insects-bugs

Beetle and waterbug: www.bizarrefood.com/edible-insect-jungle-trial-mix?search=trial

Tarantula: www.bizarrefood.com/canned-edible-tarantula-spider

Makes 7 bug fruitcakes 

You will need: 

For the cooking equipment: 

A large bowl
A 12-hole muffin tin
7 Muffin liners
Nonstick cooking spray

For the bug fruitcakes: 

1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup slivered almonds
5 oz. sweetened condensed milk
1 beaten and whisked egg
1/3 tsp. baking soda
2/3 cup crushed corn flakes
1.9 grams Larvets(see HELPFUL LINKS)
1 gram Crick-ettes(see HELPFUL LINKS)
15 grams mixed bugs (see HELPFUL LINKS)
4 prunes
1 oven-baked tarantula(see HELPFUL LINKS)
1 waterbug(see HELPFUL LINKS)
1 beetle(see HELPFUL LINKS)
Korean BBQ sauce for dipping(highly recommended) 

1. Mix the first 9 ingredients together in a large bowl until you get a batter. 
2. Line the muffin tin with muffin liners and spray the liners with nonstick cooking spray. 
3. Pour the batter 2/3 of the way in each liner. Top 4 of the 7 fruitcakes with a prune. 
4. Bake the bug fruitcakes in a 300 degree Fahrenheit oven for 20-25 minutes. 
5. Top one fruitcake with a tarantula, a second with a waterbug, and the last one with a beetle. Serve with Korean BBQ sauce(highly recommended).  

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