stuffed doves for the 2018 winter olympics!?

I knew a just had to eat a dove or two when I heard the doves were released as part of the torch relay before this year's Olympics. Yes, they are peaceful creatures, but there's also a brand of chocolate also called Dove and I knew I had to combine the two together.

My initial idea was to stuff a meatloaf inside doves, but seeing as the doves are so tiny, it wouldn't make sense to brown a pound of ground meat, end up only using an ounce of it, and disposing the rest. So I stuffed it with kimchi(because the Olympics are in South Korea and kimchi is a national dish of both Koreas), Sno-Caps candies(those nonpareils, because it is the Winter Olympics going on, not Summer), Dove chocolate, pizza chips(I had a couple left and I wanted to use them all up, but alas, I could only stuff 1/2 a chip per dove, and panko breadcrumbs. 

However, doves, like many wild game, are lean in fat, so to bump up the fat content, I wrapped them in bacon. 

The ultimate goal for every Olympic athlete is to win a gold medal and hear their country's national anthem on the podium(except if you're an Olympic Athlete from Russia, so no Russian national anthem for you). Fittingly enough, Hershey's started selling gold chocolate bars, which is essentially a caramelized creme bar and that was the basis for the sauce I made to douse the doves in. I used ketchup seasoning as the rub for the doves because I gotta root for team USA(who basically suck this year, save for only 5 gold medals won so far and all of them were either in snowboarding or skiing). 

Let me tell you, handling those dove carcasses, combined with the ketchup seasoning, made the plate the meat it was on look like a bloody crime scene. Disgustingly, the ketchup seasoning stuck onto the meat thanks to the blood on it! I made a hole in one of the doves but then I found there was already a cavity there. 

The dove meat tasted like really dark meat chicken combined with liver pate or calf liver(the meat looked like pate and had a metallic, irony taste to it). I felt like a giant vulture digging into the doves because you have to break apart the carcasses to get to the edible meat. 

My dad was too disgusted to dry the doves. He said they're peaceful creatures not meant to be eaten, those "poor little doves". 

HELPFUL LINKS: Doves: www.exoticmeatmarkets.com/Dove-Meat-2-Birds-Farm-Raised-for-Food-p/dovemeat2-birds.htm

Kimchi: www.amazon.com/Mother-Laws-Kimchi-Vegan-Cabbage/dp/B01HTHK7FE/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1518972810&sr=8-2&

Ketchup Seasoning: www.amazon.com/Gourmet-Fries-Seasonings-Bottle-Ketchup/dp/B005SSM4V2/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1518972846&sr=8-2&

You will need: 

For the cooking equipment: 

A large plate
A bowl
Aluminum foil
A lasagna pan
A medium saucepot

For the doves: 

2 doves(see HELPFUL LINKS)
Ketchup seasoning(see HELPFUL LINKS)
2 pieces of kimchi(see HELPFUL LINKS)
2 pieces of Dove chocolate
2-4 tbsp. Sno-Caps nonpareils
1-2 tbsp. panko breadcrumbs
1 pizza chip
2 slices of bacon
Pinch of garlic powder
Pinch of onion powder
Pinch of salt

For the gold chocolate sauce: 

1/4 cup rose wine
1 tbsp. rice wine vinegar
1/2 cup bouillon mixed in 1/2 cup hot water
1 tsp. dried thyme
1 Hershey's Gold Chocolate Bar, 

Serve with croutons(optional)

To cook the doves: 

1. Wash the doves thoroughly and put them onto a large plate. Find the cavities on the bottom of each dove and remove as much blood and organs as possible from the cavities. 
2. Coat each dove in ketchup seasoning. Stuff each dove with a piece of kimchi, a piece of Dove chocolate, 1-2 tbsp. of Sno-Caps nonpareils, 1/2-1 tbsp. of panko breadcrumbs, and 1/2 a pizza chip. 
3. Wrap each dove in a slice of bacon and season the outside with the garlic powder, onion powder, and salt. 
4. Wrap each dove in aluminum foil and put the wrapped doves onto a lasagna pan. 
5. Bake the doves in a 300 degree Fahrenheit oven for 30-45 minutes, or until the internal temperature reaches at least 170 degrees Fahrenheit. 

To make the gold chocolate sauce: 

1. Put the rose wine and rice wine vinegar into a medium saucepot and cook the mixture for 3-4 minutes, or until it has a syrupy consistency. 
2. Add the broth and thyme to the mixture. Break apart the gold chocolate bar and put it into the saucepot. Stir the chocolate into the sauce until it melts. It's normal to see chunky peanut and pretzel pieces in the sauce, as those were in the bar. 

Take the doves out of the foil and onto a plate. Pour the sauce over the doves. Serve with croutons(optional). 

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