Recently, there has been a backlash over some recipe in the New York Times about green pea guacamole. Apparently, guacamole is so sacred according to the hivemind that is the Internet that anything that is a deviation from the traditional guacamole will garner you a lot of backlash and virtual haters. But, like the Taylor Swift song lyrics, "haters are gonna hate". And hey, meatloaf solves everything, even petty Internet disagreements! The actual meatloaf was pretty bland, so I suggest you put any of your favorite seasonings into the meatloaf mixture before baking it in the oven. For the cooking vessel, you will need: a lasagna pan nonstick cooking spray For the actual meatloaf, you will need: 1/2 a sauteed onion 2 beaten eggs 3/4 cup of green pea flour 1/2 cup of guacamole Pinch of salt and black pepper 1 pound of chopped, drained firm tofu 1. Wash your hands! :) 2. Put all ingredients into a large bowl. 3. Mix the ingredients up so that all the ingredients, and especially the flour, are distributed evenly among the mixture. 4. Spray lasagna pan with nonstick cooking spray. 5. Form 2 loaves from the mixture. 6. Bake in a 350 degree Fahrenheit preheated oven for 40-45 minutes. 7. Bon appetit!
0 Comments
A few weeks ago, I heard online about some food vendor named Charlie Chicken selling "Caviar Twinkies" at the Orange County Fair and I thought that was a brilliant concept- so I turned it into a meatloaf. A caviar meatloaf, to the best of my knowledge, has never been attempted before, probably because: 1. Caviar is expensive 2. Caviar is the only protein source I know of that cannot be cooked using any heat. I assume if you tried to heat caviar, it would explode. Plus you would garner the wrath of caviar aficionados everywhere for not following caviar etiquette, which includes these rules: 1. NEVER EVER HEAT CAVIAR UP! CHILL IT OR USE IT AS A GARNISH ONLY! 2. Don't expose caviar to metal utensils or bowls because then the caviar would taste metallic. Use plastic utensils and glass bowls instead. 3. Technically, it's considered gauche(rude) if you eat more than 2 ounces of caviar at a time. I ate 3.5 ounces of it but I don't think the caviar police is out to get me. I got my caviar from a local supermarket for $5.69 for 3.5 ounces. So it's probably low-grade caviar. I did buy red caviar but I stupidly forgot to read the label that said "Vodka Lumpfish". 4 ounces((i bought two 2-ounce jars) of vodka caviar might make anybody drunk and that is not something I will do to get attention on the Internet. Besides, Hannah Hart from My Drunk Kitchen has drunk cooking covered already. For these reasons, I didn't use red caviar in my meatloaf. I'd rather have salty caviar than caviar that tastes like vodka any day of the week. This recipe is significantly different from my previous meatloaf creations in that I didn't use sauteed onions because: 1. You're not supposed to chill onions. 2. I don't want any onion flavor in my meatloaf. Chilling the meatloaf isn't going to take away the onion flavor, unlike when you bake a meatloaf in actual heat. I also didn't use raw eggs because: 1. Raw eggs don't bake in the refrigerator. Even a 5th grader could tell you that! 2. Consuming raw eggs can make you sick! You don't need nonstick cooking spray either as the meatloaf won't stick to the surface it is on if it is chilled. I also didn't use a lasagna pan because it's made of aluminum and aluminum is metal(see caviar etiquette rules above). For the cooking vessels, you will need: A glass bowl A glass loaf pan Plastic utensils A large plastic spoon(see caviar etiquette above) For the actual meatloaf, you will need: 3.5 ounces of black caviar 3 Twinkies, crushed into smaller pieces Pinch of black pepper(for a little spice) 1. Wash your hands! :) 2. Put all three ingredients in a glass bowl. 3. Mix the ingredients using a large plastic spoon. 4. Form one loaf in the glass loaf pan from the meatloaf mixture. 5. Chill meatloaf in refrigerator for 1 hour to let it set. 6. Bon Appetit! Final note: You can eat your meatloaf with any sides you want but i had some leftover spaghetti squash so I placed my meatloaf on top of that. Happy 4th of July everybody! When I think of the 4th of July, I think of Hot Dogs, as in the Nathan's annual Hot Dog Eating contest. So i turned the concept of a hot dog into a meatloaf. For the cooking vessel, you will need: a lasagna pan nonstick cooking spray For the actual meatloaf, you will need: 1/2 a sauteed onion 2 beaten eggs 1/4 cup of kdtchup 1/4 cup of mustard(I used Dijon, which is my personal favorite, but you could use whatever type of mustard you want) 1/4 cup of relish 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs(to represent to bun in a hot dog) 22 French fries, cut up into small pieces Salt Black pepper 1 package(8 frankfurters) of any type of frankfurters you want(I used beef frankfurters, but use whatever type you want) 1. Wash your hands! :) 2. Put the first 8 ingredients in a large bowl. 3. Cut up the frankfurters into small pieces(I suggest you could up the frankfurters into 1/2 inch pieces) 4. Put the cut up frankfurters in the large bowl. 5. Mix the ingredients in the large bowl together 6. Spray a lasagna pan with nonstick cooking spray 7. Form two loaves from the meatloaf mixture 8. Put a in a 350 degree Fahrenheit preheated oven for 30-35 minutes. 9. Bon appetit! In honor of the landmark Obergefell vs. Hodges Supreme Court case, which made same-sex marriage legal in all 50 US states, I made some rainbow recipes(a rainbow flag represents the LGBT movement). My "Rainbow Gone Wild" Meatloaf is my culminating masterpiece 24 hours in the making. For the cooking vessel, you will need: a lasagna pan nonstick cooking spray For the actual meatloaf, you will need: 1/2 a sauteed onion 2 beaten eggs 1/2 cup of ketchup 1/4 cup of dried apricots 1 mashed banana in milk pinch of cilantro 1/2 cup of dried blueberries part of a baked eggplant some Rainbow Fudge 1/2 cup of crushed rainbow cookies 1 cup of crumbled Rainbow Bread 1 pound of chopped, drained, firm tofu 1. Wash your hands! :) 2. Put all ingredients in a large bowl. 3. Mix the ingredients together until they are distributed evenly among each other. 4. Spray a lasagna pan with nonstick cooking spray. 5. Form 2 loaves from the meatloaf mixture. 6. Bake in a 350 degree Fahrenheit oven for 40 minutes. 7. Bon appetit! This was actually my first time making fudge. I got my idea from my video by a YouTuber who also made Rainbow Fudge, YoYoMax12. Her fudge came out much better than mine. I basically used half of each ingredient she used because I'm the only one in my house actually eating it, so 36 ounces of white chocolate is way, way too much. I used 15 ounces instead. White chocolate is very expensive. I know the world's chocolate supply will eventually dwindle due to global warming but white chocolate isn't made from the increasingly scarce ingredient that is known as cacao. I didn't use orange because I couldn't find orange food dye. I mean I could've mixed red and yellow food dye together but I was too lazy. If you want to replicate the 1978 LGBT rainbow flag, which had pink and turquoise in it, make a fudge layer for each of those colors. Did you know those colors were eventually removed from said flag because those dyes are hard to find when it comes to making flags? Cooking vessels you will need: 5 medium bowls(or 8 if you want to make the fudge based off of the 1978 LGBT flag, which had the colors pink and turquoise on it; I only used 5 colors) aluminum foil a microwave a loaf pan a freezer and refrigerator For the actual fudge, you will need: 15 ounces of baking white chocolate(it melts faster; don't use white chocolate chips because those don't melt at all), with 3 ounces used per color(so if you want 8 colors, you'll need 24 ounces) 1 1/4 cups of sweetened condensed milk, with 1/4 cup used per color(so if you want 8 colors, than you'll need 2 cups) 3/4 tsp vanilla extract, with 1/8 tsp used per color(so if you want 8 colors, you'll need 1 tsp.)(Note: You can use any flavor extract you want. Just don't flavor your fudge butter(using butter extract) because that's just gross) Red, yellow, green, blue, and purple food dye(orange, pink, and turquoise food dye is optional) 1. Break 3 ounces of white chocolate into small pieces in a medium bowl. 2. Pour 1/4 cup of sweetened condensed milk over the white chocolate 3. Place bowl in microwave for 25 seconds. 4. Stir the melted chocolate and condensed milk so that you can't see any chocolate chunks remaining. 5. Put 1/8 tsp. vanilla extract in the white chocolate mixture. Stir to distribute the vanilla extract evenly among the melted mixture. 6. Use a couple of drops of purple food dye in the white chocolate mixture. Stir to distriubte the dye evenly among the melted mixture so you end up with one consistent purple color. 7. Place aluminum foil in a loaf pan. 8. Pour the purple mixture in the loaf pan. 9. Place in a freezer for 15 minutes to let it partially harden. 10. Repeat steps 1-9 for blue, turquoise(optional), green, yellow, orange(optional), red, and pink(optional). Let each top layer partially harden in the freezer for 15 minutes. 11. After the final layer has partially hardened in the freezer, place fudge in the refrigerator to set for at least 12 hours. 12. The fudge will be hard as a rock so you should thaw it out at room temperature for 2 hours after the fudge has set. 13. Bon appetit! Note: I screwed up in my editing of this video. I put the wrong introduction in. It's not Rainbow Fudge, it's Rainbow Bread I'm making. Sorry. This is my first attempt at making bread from scratch. Technically, I made bread before at a Sur La Table Artisan Bread class, but I had help from a professional culinary instructor. I got my inspiration for this recipe from another YouTuber, YoYoMax12. She also made Rainbow Bread a couple of years ago and her finished product looks a lot better than mine. But that's probably because I used food dye instead of food coloring paste. In hindsight, I should've used the latter. I also should've kneaded the dough on my countertop the entire time instead of on a cutting board. Maybe I would've had a bigger loaf... Other than that I have no regrets. I didn't use orange in my bread because my supermarket didn't carry orange food dye. Technically, I could've used a mixture of red and yellow dye but the dough ball pieces I had were so tiny, it wouldn't make sense to put that much food coloring in them. As for indigo, let's just say whoever thought indigo was part of a rainbow probably didn't have chefs in mind since it's just a mixture of blue and purple. I don't know of any food products that are indigo in color. Plus, I wouldn't know how to begin making an indigo food dye. I chose to make rainbow bread in honor of the landmark Supreme Court case Obergefell vs. Hodges, which made same-sex marriage legal in all 50 US states. The symbol of the LGBT movement is a rainbow flag, and #lovewins. Quick tip: if you do choose to use food dye in your bread, you probably should take a shower as the bread is baking to remove all the dye that will inevitably be on your hands from all that kneading. Simple hand soap and water won't cut it. The video of me making the bread is the longest I've made yet. And this post is probably the longest I've made also. But that's because making bread might be one of the hardest dishes to make from scratch apart from maybe souffle. But if you have the time, you should go ahead and try making bread. It's fun. Cooking appliances you will need: 2 large bowls a large whisk a large spoon a countertop a bench scraper a rolling pin or beer bottle an oven nonstick cooking spray plastic wrap 5 medium bowls pastry brush For the actual bread ingredients, you will need: 1 cup of milk 1 egg yolk 1 1/2 tbsp of melted butter(you can melt yours in the microwave for 20-25 seconds. Any longer and the butter will splatter all over the inside of the microwave) 2 1/2 tbsp of white granulated sugar 3 cups of flour 1 1/2 tbsp of salt 1 packet of Quick Rise Instant Yeast red, yellow, green, blue, and purple food dye or food coloring paste. Orange, pink, and turquoise food dye or food coloring paste is completely optional. water 1. Put milk and egg yolk in a microwave-safe large bowl. 2. Whisk the two ingredients together. 3. Heat in the microwave for 45-50 seconds, or until the mixture is warm to the touch. 4. Add melted butter and white granulated sugar to the large bowl. 5. Whisk the ingredients in the large bowl again until well combined. 6. In a separate large bowl, add flour and salt to it. 7. Whisk the salt into the flour. 8. Add instant yeast to the bowl with milk, egg, melted butter, and sugar in it. 9. Whisk the yeast into said bowl until well combined. 10. Add flour and salt mixture to said bowl one cup at a time. Stir using a large spoon as you pour the ingredients in. 11. Mix until you get a dough in the center of the bowl. 12. Wash your hands before you begin even touching the dough! 13. Get the dough onto the countertop using a bench scraper and/or your hands. The dough will be sticky. To make the dough less sticky, coat some flour on top of it. If your hands get sticky, add flour to your hands as well. 14. Knead the dough for 5-10 minutes or until the dough is no longer sticky(it took 30 minutes for me but that's because I stupidly used a cutting board for part of the kneading process. The board was moving around too much. 15. Poke 3 holes into the dough ball. 16. Divide the dough ball into 4 smaller dough balls. 17. Cut each small dough ball in half. You should end up with 8 dough balls. 18. For the food dye option: poke a hole in each dough ball and inject food dye into the dough. Then knead the dough until the dye is distributed evenly among the dough ball. You will get dye on your hands so this is the less preferred option. For the food coloring paste option: Brush each dough ball with the paste and knead the paste into the dough until the coloring is distributed evenly among the dough ball. This is the better option. 19. I only used 5 of the 8 dough balls, but if you want, you can make one dough ball orange, one dough ball pink, and one dough ball turquoise. Pink and turquoise were colors on the original LGBT rainbow flag in 1978. But they were removed as flag makers found the dyes for these colors hard to find. 20. Spray each medium bowl with nonstick cooking spray so the dough ball won't stick to it. 21. Put each dough ball in a medium bowl and cover it with plastic wrap sprayed with nonstick cooking spray. Set bowl aside. 22. "Cool Trick": Remove the plastic wrap from the bowls. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit with nothing in it. When it's done preheating, leave the oven on with nothing in it for 20-30 seconds. Then shut the oven off. Do not shut the oven light off. Put dough balls on a cookie sheet that has been sprayed with nonstick cooking spray and place it in the off oven for 5-10 minutes, or until the dough balls have doubled in size. 23. Flatten each dough ball using a rolling pin or beer bottle. Drinking the beer is optional. :) You should start with the purple dough ball on the bottom 24. Brush the top of the flattened dough with a pastry brush that has been dipped in water. That way, the colors won't bleed into each other during the next rising and eventual baking process. 25. Repeat steps 23 and 24 and stack the flattened dough balls in this order: blue ball(yea, that didn't sound right), turquoise ball(if you made one), green ball, yellow ball, orange bowl(if you made one), red ball, and pink ball(if you made one). 26. Spray loaf pan with nonstick cooking spray. 27. Place your newly formed loaf in the loaf pan. 28. Using the "cool trick" in step 22, put the loaf in off oven for 15 minutes, or until it has doubled in size. 29. Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit and as the oven is preheating, put the loaf pan on top of the oven to let it rise a little more. 30. Bake for 30 minutes. 31. Let the bread rest for 10 minutes. Eating bread fresh out of the oven will give you a tummy ache and you don't want that. 32. Bon appetit! |
Archives
October 2019
Categories
All
|